Half the Battle #8 — Nightmare Assault on America’s Pastime

This is one of those rare Half the Bat­tle strips that imi­tates an actu­al scene from the Sun­bow car­toon.  The episode was called Night­mare Assault and it is one of my favorites.  In it, Dr. Mind­ben­der cre­ates a devise that gives all of the Joes night­mares, leav­ing them tired, ner­vous wrecks.  The only Joe that is unaf­fect­ed is Low Light.  Why?  Because he already doesn’t sleep, due to insom­nia.  And why does he have insom­nia?  Because he is afraid of hav­ing night­mares… Even­tu­al­ly, Low Light enters everyone’s dreams, fac­ing his and every­one else’s fears, and shoots a bunch of giant rat cars in the face while scream­ing mani­a­cal­ly stuff like, “I’m not afraid any­more, Dad!  What do you think of your son now?!?  BWA HA HA HA!”

Any­way, there was a scene in the episode where Life­line and Lady Jaye were talk­ing about the night­mares they were hav­ing.  Lady Jaye reveals, in a way that got past the cen­sors of a kids show, that she had to sing the Nation­al Anthem at a base­ball game naked.  (Lady Jaye and states of undress seemed to be a theme of the series that I may hit on lat­er…)  Any­way, the scene was actu­al­ly real­ly fun­ny, pos­si­bly more so than the strip below.  But what this strip has that the actu­al scene doesn’t is a diss on base­ball.  I can think of few­er things worse than hav­ing to watch a game…

HTB #8 - Nightmare Assault

 

This and oth­er Half the Bat­tle comics can be seen on the HALF THE BATTLE page.

Now you know…

The fifth chap­ter of my true life per­son­al work hell is right here.  In this excit­ing episode, I become a wit­ness to mur­der­ous threats in the office.

Joel Vs. Hempstead

Pho­to cour­tesy of Highbridnation.com

Read on after the jump or it can be found on the menu screen at the top of the page and right here.!

Start-Up Beatdown

Chapter 5: Joel Vs. Hempstead

 

The first per­son in the office every­day was a man by the name of Sean Hemp­stead. Sean Hemp­stead was the omega wolf of the office. Sure, I was giv­en the shit­ti­est jobs to per­form, but most of the time, peo­ple treat­ed me with at least some respect (to my face, at least). Hemp­stead, how­ev­er, was treat­ed like worm-infest­ed shit. All bad vibes, bale­ful thoughts and evil juju were inevitably focused at this man like a beam. Per­haps it was because he would take it, when any nor­mal per­son would have quit or killed every­one in a shoot­ing ram­page …

Sean Hemp­stead had a desk next to mine in the hall­way. He was a tall, rather thin man, with a shock of blond hair, thick glass­es and the demeanor of an unin­vit­ed house­guest who made him­self at home. Often­times, I would find him stretched out in his chair, casu­al­ly shelling peanuts and poop­ing them in his mouth, while surf­ing the Inter­net. Though he looked to be in his thir­ties, Sean Hemp­stead was in his fifties, a Viet­nam vet­er­an and a grand­fa­ther. He was also an incred­i­ble geek. He was Seashel Pro­duc­tions IT spe­cial­ist, and would men­tion the Mac’s supe­ri­or­i­ty to the PC so reg­u­lar­ly that I thought he was per­haps receiv­ing a sec­ond pay­check from Apple.

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Half the Bat­tle #7 — Lifeline’s Night­mare.  It turns out Life­line being a wee­nie that has no place in the mil­i­tary was just a sim­ple mis­un­der­stand­ing…

HTB #7 - Lifeline's Nightmare

This and oth­er Half the Bat­tle comics can be seen on the HALF THE BATTLE page.

Now you know…

 

Yet anoth­er chap­ter of my true life per­son­al work hell is up.  In this excit­ing episode, I am accused of being a cor­po­rate spy.  Read on!

This time, I decid­ed to put the whole chap­ter in the main page.  It’s after the Jump.  Or, if you’re a tra­di­tion­al­ist, it can be found on the menu screen at the top of the page and right here.

THE JUMP!

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I always won­dered why, in the old GI Joe car­toon, Duke always seemed to get cap­tured so much.  This strip may explain it…

Half the Battle #6 - Duke Captured

 

This and oth­er Half the Bat­tle comics can be seen on the HALF THE BATTLE page.

Now you know…

Just a quick note about a lay­out change to the site.  I added pre­vi­ous and next links to the Joe comics for added user ease.  The thought just occurred to me to put them in.

If you have any sug­ges­tions to make this web­site even bet­ter, let me know.

Half the Bat­tle #5 is hot off the press­es.  Fair warn­ing: This is the dirt­i­est com­ic of the bunch (though maybe not quite NSFW), so view­er dis­cre­tion is advised…

Half the Battle #5 - Poopdeck

This and oth­er Half the Bat­tle comics can be seen on the HALF THE BATTLE page.

Now you know…